funny classifieds 2

This posting is more weird than funny but I thought I'd share it with you...

What I'm looking for:
-classy gentleman in a nice suit who must be open minded, non-judgemental and preferrably a bit naughty...someone who can be my god and let me worship him like one, making me feel unworthy and guilty to have his love
-can be cynical, but knows who to trust (ME), insecure men not welcomed
-has to be good looking in my books so I can worship him even more, but my preferences can be very unusual
-Preferrably not too annoyingly talkative, I hate small talk...It's stressful to act interested and come up with interesting reply while being aware of my expression and tone. The better I prentend, the longer the conversation, putting myself into this deadlock
-masculine / strong character, strong mentally...the type who wrestles bears and get into bar fights and gets pissed off at every little thing is not what I considered STRONG character.
-Older gentlemen (35-60) only, young ones please don't bother. They are too naive and annoying, spoiled and prissy. I can't seem to get rid of them.
-must want LTR and marriage, preferrably someone who marries on an impulse
-You must be affluent, dressing me up in nice suits and lavish on me all those material things that I don't care to have and make me feel special


About Me:
- free thinker who believes that there are rarely anything absolute in life
- complete narcissist who finds everyone else dull and only laugh occassionally at my own jokes
- sometimes trashy and finds nothing in life surprising. Loves randomness and can't engage myself in any conversation regarding fashion, technology, art, etc...everything seems contrived, pretentious and dull. Measures everything with my own standards.
- wants to be controlled by a classy and attractive man, willing to be a complete cheap whore sexually and enjoys acting like a servant to that one man..I want him to urinate and spit on me to make me feel cheap and worthless
- blunt and sometimes insensitive, sometimes regrets it, but sometimes it's amusing
- hates fuzzing over insignificant things because it's dull
- was once a gifted school student, extremely high IQ, engineering degree, but went completely mad with my wild imagination, blurring that line between sanity and insanity and relish being mad because it makes me feel alive
- a clean virgin, loyal and wants one man for life mostly because I don't believe it will happen and I love mental tug of wars
- loves playing games with my own mind and twisting my personality to amuse myself

1. This is one of the longest ad ever.
2. Just read what he wants!
3. Then be amazed at what he wrote about himself...

Not sure how many serious replies he'll get but who knows, maybe out there his perfect match is waiting.